Friday, October 21, 2005

Dear Guy WHO STEPPED INTO THE FREEWAY TO STOP MY CAR,

Holy shit, are you one crazy ass, incredibly stupid dude. Your car was broken down by the side of the road and your friend was working on it. You, meanwhile, thought maybe you could flag down motorists so they would stop and help. And your brilliant plan was to step clear into the slow lane, where we are all traveling 60+ mph, with your arms waving. You did this to me, making me have to swerve around you so I wouldn't wind up hitting you, thus bisecting your body and making a giant mess, both literally and figuratively. Did you think stepping in the road would give me no choice but to stop? You confuse me a lot.

You didn't know that I'm female when you started doing this, but have some common sense. Who the hell is going to stop for two strange men in the middle of the night? The Zodiac killer used this ploy on occasion, and when I heard that, it was enough to convince me that I'm not stopping for anyone. Ever. I won't even do it in broad daylight, sorry.

Now, go get a freaking cell phone and an Emergency Roadside Service Club (TM) membership, you moron.