Thursday, September 22, 2005

One Year, Plus One Day

Apparently, I forgot me and my blog's first anniversary. Well, not completely -- I actually had been thinking about it a month ago, but in all the birthday excitement, it slipped my mind and I neglected to acknowledge it. [Edited to add that perhaps I should have given some thanks to Darren and Maliavale for actually noticing this and pointing it out to me! They are way more astute than I am.] Thankfully, we don't sleep in the same bed or even share a room, so it really can't kick me out or do much of anything about it. Except perhaps up and delete my entire template and archives. Oh, please, let's not be hasty here. I will make amends with a list, which market research shows are reader friendly and fun to create.

A Year of Blogging By the Numbers

Number of posts, according to my profile: No idea, because my profile won't tell me

Estimated number of posts, according to me: Including pictures, 500

Number of times the word "totally" was used: 365

Number of times other words betraying my California roots have been used (including like, hella, awesome, freakin' and sweet): 600

Number of hella cool new friends I made: 2

Number of commenters banned by me through Haloscan because I didn't like their attitude: 1

Number of posts started, then abandoned for various reasons: 56

Number that are likely to show up when I'm good and ready: 1

Number of flame wars: 1

Hours spent in front of the computer composing posts, making blog "pretty" and general goofing around: I'm not ready to admit this to myself.

Number of glasses of wine or other drinks consumed immediately prior to or during blogging: 8. This is a pathetic number, and I vow to improve upon it in the next year.

Number of rats and assorted other squicky things that died in our house in the last year: one rat, that we know of, 76-ish bugs including one very giant flying cockroach.

Number of nights I slept in the guest room while the Mr. was out of town because I saw said giant flying cockroach sleeping on my pillow: 4

On a scale of 1-10, how fun being a guest in my house was: 9.5;, one point docked for the bug, but bonus points for the TV in the guest room, the comfy bed and the good coffee in the morning.

Number of family members told about the blog at its inception: 30-ish

Number of family members who regularly read the blog today: 5, I think?

Number of times the Mr. has posted, because originally this was supposed to be a co-blog, something we had both completely forgotten about, and now I don't really want to share, sorry: 0


I'm really starting to annoy myself, and possibly all of you. I should have put more thought into this post, but the truth is, I did it in about 10 minutes. While I was walking the dogs, it occurred to me that I didn't even mention the blog villains: Henry and Harry. How could I have forgotten them?

Number of times Henry has parked in front of our house: countless

Number of times I refused to leave the house to get dinner until I was sure Henry was home and had found another neighbor to inconvenience: 3

Number of times I have felt homicidal toward Henry: 12

Number of times I have referred to Henry as a effin m-effer: Daily (according to the Mr.)

Number of times we've pulled up just as that effin m-effer was taking our spot: 1

Number of dirty looks I've given him: 14

Number of times I've shaken my hands toward the heavens and yelled, "WHY?!!": 38

Number of times Harry has motioned to me for a cigarette as I'm making a right turn onto a busy street: 1

Number of times Harry has sat on our porch and had a glass of water: 2

Number of times that glass of water came from me: 0

Number of times that glass of water came from the Mr.: 2

Number of times Harry has banged on our door in the middle of the night looking for more water: far.

OK. If I think of anything else, I'll keep it to myself.