Friday, August 12, 2005

My Angel Is the Centerfold

You may recall when I wrote about the ridiculous number of magazines we'd be getting, thanks to a few unused airline miles. They've started arriving. In droves. Some wino at Wine Spectator thought it would be funny to send me three giant issues at once, so instead of feeling glee at the wine-y goodness gracing my porch, I felt terror. Why did they do that? I wasn't thinking, "Gee, if only I had been able to subscribe sooner, because I heard the May issue was just off the hook."

Then more Newsweeks started coming. Then Lucky. An issue of Everyday Foods or whatever it's called. I don't even remember the names of half the magazines we get anymore. Then W (which actually was awesome because they sent me the infamous Brangelina issue, plus one with a very creepy interview with Katie Homes). And Star, after which I always need a hot shower to kill the paparazzi germs.

I was suffocating in this stuff, so I decided to start knocking some of them off. First I prioritized: EW is always first, followed by Newsweek, Lucky (only because its catalog format allows me to get through an issue in about 20 minutes) and Star (also because I pretty much just look at the pictures, read the headlines, and maybe read a story if it sounds plausible enough). W isn't bad, and Esquire has a couple regular features I like to read, plus maybe one of their longer pieces.

A ton of headway was made, and last week I plopped a 20 lb stack of magazines in Jasclo's lap, glad to be rid of them. Then I tried to get back to Jon Stewart's book. And now I can't focus. I've only read 10 pages, and while they've been a very entertaining 10 pages, I'm looking for a quiz about my personality ("Are You Blogger Material?" "Do you have any personality?") or maybe some tips on how to maximize what I've got using only mascara. These damn magazines, they have bored holes into my brain.