Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A Little More Sobbing Than Usual

My original post today was going to be about this one time in New York two years ago where I had a complete meltdown in the dumping snow because we were decked out in formalwear and I was walking in about 6 inches of it in strappy heels, and I was ready to tell snow to just pack its shit and get out of my life for good. We've since kissed and made up, obviously. But I really come off like a hugely whiny baby in it. Not that I feel this need to paint this lovely little picture for you guys, but it was just getting painful to read. I would never want to hang out with me if I read that. I might even delete myself from my bookmark. Let's just say there was lots of crying, maybe I yelled at a couple strangers for snickering at me as I limped along with my almost-frostbitten feet and I might have even ordered two cab-stealers to get the hell out of our cab and wait their turn like everyone else and they listened to me, which was a little startling. I was on a rampage, and it was ugly. And then we got to our destination and drank a whole lot, because we had earned it. The End.

It's been four days, and the end of Six Feet Under is still sticking around in me. The thing that resonated is that when I moved from California to Florida, I took the same road Claire was on, I-10. Except I picked it up in San Bernardino. They kept showing her eyes as she was driving, and maybe I was projecting, but it seemed to mirror how I felt on that empty road. It was a hugely depressing trip. I remember as I left the 5 and picked up the 10, I sobbed. The 5 took me back home, and suddenly I was on this road that had no connection to anything I really loved. I was on my way to live with someone who can only be described as An Asshole and wasn't really looking forward to it.

As we saw each character's life come to an end in the finale, I realized there's still so much more to come and I don't know what's in store, but I hope it's good.