Friday, July 01, 2005

I Could Have Played "Rat Out Your Neighbor, Score a Tootsie Roll"

Last night before we went to the movies, the Mr. and I made our usual jaunt to Target before the show to load up on contraband for the show. Usually he gets Twizzlers or gummi bears and I've been on a roll with Jujyfruits. But last night I decided to revisit an old friend, the Tootsie Roll.

I was dismayed to learn that the mid-size bags have been done away with. All they had were the 2 lb bags (I'm guessing on the weight here, but it was pretty damn large and held enough Tootsie Rolls for our entire row, and I would have shared if they had bothered to shut the hell up. I heard three distinct conversations going on during the movie, to the right, behind and to the front. I GIVE UP.).

After wandering around unsuccessfully looking for something smaller, I gave up and said, "Well! Looks like I have NO CHOICE but to fatten up! Oh, look. And they're on sale. I can get fat for half price. And the bag also says I get 15% more free! What a country!"

I'm just so glad to know that if I ever want to REALLY gain some weight, economics won't be holding me back. Just my own lack of motivation and my mind. But through some mental magic and some daily affirmations, it will be mine. Oh, yes.