Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A Rose For Emily Was OK, Though

So, when did Oprah begin to hate her audience? I'm just wondering, because at Target yesterday, I strolled by the books and saw the dreaded words "William Faulkner." I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Faulkner? At Target? I backed up. Sure enough, not only was it Faulkner, it was a Faulkner Box Set. I almost screamed. It had the "Oprah's summer reading" label. I mean, yeah, Faulkner is a fantastic choice for summer reading if you want to get the full Hell effect of summer and the heat alone isn't doing it for you.

I've hated Faulkner since junior year of high school when we were assigned to read "Intruder in the Dust," an absolute nightmare of a book that totally wouldn't even be published today. I would hope, at least. The run-on sentences. The parentheticals that go on so long you forgot you were in one. And need I mention the parentheticals within parentheticals? It's a disaster. I blame that book for getting me grounded because my teacher sent home a note saying I wasn't doing so hot in class, which was entirely because of that book. I couldn't understand it if I tried. Maybe somewhere in there was a good old Southern yarn, but dude needed an editor, big time.

So, yeah. The only explanation for all this is that Oprah hates you, people.