Thursday, May 26, 2005

A Fool Who Owns a Dog and His Money Are Soon Parted


"Seriously? $11? That's whack."

In the basement of Marshall Field's, there's a store called Downtown Dog. It's a place just for suckers like the Mr. and I: people who cater to their pets' every whim and put way too much thought and money into toys and doodads and fancy frosted cookies in the shape of a kindly mailman for their pets when all they really want are your smelly, dirty socks. And in the case of certain pets who insist on being gross sometimes, your used Kleenex.

As we eyed the stuffed corgis and $80 leashes and water bowls that no dog would ever appreciate, the Mr. noticed a nice little ball. "Feel this," he said. "There is no way she could destroy this." It did feel more substantial than other balls, I had to admit. Plus, it had a pretty little design that suckered me.

One of Nabby's favorite hobbies is not playing fetch with balls. No, no. Corgis are Queen Elizabeth's breed of choice and they know it, and if anyone's doing the fetching, you are. Rather, she prefers to sit in a corner and gut them. We don't stop her, because once she gets halfway through a ball, she'll carry it around so that the remaining part of the ball covers her nose and mouth, and dammit if it isn't the funniest thing you've ever seen.

So, this ball. Pretty, seemingly indestructible and ... $11. Kind of a lot for a stupid little ball. But it squeaked, and in Nabby Math: squeakier=awesomer. So, I bought it. Because we're goobers, the Mr. and I actually discussed our excitement about the ball, and whether Nabby would like it.

We got home, gave her the ball with the usual fanfare and waited for the excitement. It never came. We spent $11 on her new, fancy, probably not even indestructible ball, and she could not care less. When we throw it on the floor, she watches it roll along, then gets up and walks away.

Now our folly will forever be referred to as "the $11 ball." So far, we haven't been able to guilt Nabby about it by referring to it as such, and if she could talk, she'd probably just point out that we could have gotten her two giant tubs of Snausages for that price.