Friday, April 01, 2005

This is TOP SECRET. Did I Give You Permission to Look in Here? PRIVATE.

I got all inspired by the journal entries by Stephanie over at Greek Tragedy and decided to dig up my own. I kept one pretty regularly from age 11 to 20. They sit in a corner of the guest room, and we each pretend the other doesn't exist, like good friends who don't bring up embarrassing incidents ever again, no matter how funny it was, such as the time you were talking to a guy you really, really liked with a booger hanging out of your nose.

I grabbed the first one I ever owned, circa 1985, opened it, and took one look at my teen-girl bubble script and started to cringe immediately. I was boy crazy, pudgy, depressed, prone to high drama and insecure, and before I could even finish an entry about it all here, I put it down and gasped for air. There is just no way I'm going to publish any of that. It was bringing it all right back, and a little too swiftly for my taste.

Maybe reading one or two entries a night would have been a better way to approach the journal, instead of 50 entries all at once. Baby steps, baby steps. The other problem is that unlike Stephanie, I displayed absolutely no knack for writing. I didn't record important details about my family and their quirks, other than the time I descriptively noted that my brother was "a dork." I didn't talk about interesting things I did or my views on life in general.

A pie chart would show the breakdown thus:
OHMIGOD, I love [insert boy's name here; a new one every 5 minutes]: 95.5%
Mom totally is SO MEAN. You don't even KNOW: 2%
Brother is, like, SUCH A DORK!!!: 1%
School SUCKS! I hate math!: 1%
I want to marry Simon Le Bon. Why did he go and marry Yasmin? She's not right for him! She doesn't know what he needs!: .3%
"Charles in Charge" is SO funny: .2%

In other words, pretty much a Tween Diary for the Rest Of Us (the rest of us being NOT Anne Frank, Anais Nin or Stephanie).