Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Ten Things That Are Just Wrong

1) Popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys, which I can't find on the web site. If they've been discontinued, I hereby nominate roasted garlic as the new wrong flavor.
2) Sugar-free candy, because it gives you severe gastrointestinal issues, trust me on this one.
3) Iced coffee.
4) When the cashier at Target cryptically asks if I'd like to "save 10% on [my] purchase today." First of all, 10% is lame, all right? Especially when all I have in my basket is a stick of gum and a greeting card. Second, I'm not falling for that and I don't appreciate the ruse.
5) Veggie Booty.
6) Timberlands/Manolos with heels, such as the ones J.Lo wore in "Jenny From the Block."
7) Whacked-out serving sizes. Who the hell eats half a muffin?
8) The way they do real estate in New Zealand.
9) The fact that I've been on hold with my bank for the last 10 minutes, and it's after midnight. Are there seriously this many people awake right now? The Muzak isn't helping matters.
10) The new reality show from the Federlines, which is so wrong that it's really just oh, so very right.