Monday, February 21, 2005

The Most Awesome Thing I Will See All Week

There's this lady on the corner who owns two of the most heinous dogs I've ever encountered. Even more heinous than the German shepherd who chased me down, tackled me and bit me on the ass when I was 5 years old, necessitating a trip to the hospital where I got a test for rabies.

They're obnoxious 6-pound yappers who go insane whenever anyone so much as walks outside their building. And it's a busy neighborhood, so the yapping goes on ALL DAY LONG. One of my neighbors said when he first heard them yap, he thought someone was arming their car, except at a much higher volume.

Their owner used to put them on the balcony during the day, because why keep the joy to herself? Spread it far and wide for all the land to hear! Eventually one of the neighbors would tire of hearing them, so they'd go over there to tell her to put the little buggers inside. But as soon as the owner would open her door and see my neighbors standing there, she'd say, "Oh, are my dogs bothering you?" No, no, the yapping is a veritable symphony to our ears.

So now she keeps them inside. Where they continue yap and yap and it's really only about 2 decibels quieter than when they were on the balcony, but at least we can all be assured that they are torturing their owner just as much as the rest of us.

Now I'm getting to the awesome thing. Today as I was turning the corner onto the street, their owner was out walking them without a leash. Would you expect anything less, really? She can't even train her dogs to not act like spazzes. And there it was: her two little brats yapping like maniacs and cornering this lady other lady who clearly did not like dogs, because she had taken off her shoes and was beating them back with them! Don't get me wrong, I love animals, and she didn't make contact from what I could tell, but damn, that was funny as hell.