Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Bad Service

Last night, Mary had dinner with some cousins and to hear her tell it, their waitress had a lobotomy before coming in to work. Then it occurred to me: the good thing about bad service is that everyone loves a bad waiter story, and as Mary pointed out, someone can always top yours. Our next party should be a "Bring Your Bad Waiter Story" party, 'cause it would go way later than 4 a.m., folks.

I've had some crap service in my lifetime, but the absolute worst service story I have ever heard comes from my mother. She and my stepdad were out with a friend of theirs, Gary. This restaurant is one they frequent often, and they had had their waitress before, so they realized pretty quickly that she was off her game. When she was out of earshot, they started discussing it and wondering what was going on with her. She came back and blew up at them. "You know, if you have a problem with me, why don't you just say it to my face?!" She looked at my stepdad and said, "I don't have a problem with you. You're nice." She turned to his friend, "But YOU. You're always bossing me around and you're so demanding. I'm your server. Not your servant."

She stormed off. I wish I could say that next, mom jumped up, grabbed a pool cue and gave her a good whack across the head, but the truth is that they all sat there, stunned. My stepdad kept saying, "Unbelievable!" and shaking his head. "Unbelievable!"

Round Two. SHE COMES BACK! "Oh, would you just shut up!? Unbelievable! Unbelievable!" My poor stepdad still couldn't form a complete sentence and just said it again, "Unbelievable!" I think at this point the waitress's head probably exploded.

Long and very mental story short, if memory serves, the waitress was a bit of a lush and it wasn't long before she either quit or was fired.

So, you think you're gonna top that one, do you?