Friday, December 31, 2004

It Seems That the Problem Is Very Deep 'Cause Everytime I Try to Sleep I Get Nightmares

This party we're throwing a week from Saturday has me completely torqued up. Not quite like I was before the wedding, but just about every day I have a new thing to worry about. I guess our past parties bombing out has scarred me worse than I thought. Today's worry is: there will not be enough food and/or drink. We'll run out, and then everyone will leave. That's the pattern these worries always follow: (thing I'm worried about), then everyone will leave. Apparently, I really don't want anyone to leave. Maybe instead of worrying about having enough food and drink, I should just bolt all the doors and windows shut.

Anyway, my first party related actual nightmare happened last week. I checked our evite to see how things were coming along, and the people who hadn't yet RSVP'd finally did, and they all said no. And the people who originally said they were coming also changed their replies to reflect that they, in fact, would not be here.

I am going to need so much to drink at this party to get even halfway relaxed.

How Exciting

This is the faucet in our kitchen. Ignore the fact that it needs a good scrubbing. The guy who restored our house picked the exact fixtures I would have chosen for all the bathrooms and the kitchen, so I don't think I have to tell you how great I think they are. I created a wish list at Home Deport around the time we started looking, and the plan was to pretty much rip out all the old fixtures and put in the ones I wanted. As soon as we saw this place, it made about half my wish list null and void.

I'm sorry, this is a really boring picture, isn't it? Posted by Hello

Thursday, December 30, 2004

A List of Things I Probably Won't Succeed At Doing, But Will Make a List and Hope for the Best Anyway

They get a bad rap, but I love making new year's resolutions. For one, it's a chance to make another list. For another, hey, a list. Seriously, do you need another reason?

Most of them I don't all. I'll resolve to eat better, and yet there I am at midnight, my face planted in some cake and some cookies are stuffed down my dress for later. Some of them, I keep for, like, a day. And there are a few gimmes in there, just so I don't feel like a total failure. For example, I resolve to pay off my car this year, but unless I start making $20 payments, that'll happen by March.

With resolutions for 2005...ta-da!

1) Lose 10 lbs. This is a perennial entry, and the only thing that changes is the amount of weight. I'm proud to at least say this might be the least I've ever resolved to lose. Hurrah!
2) Stop goofing around on the computer so much. I need to realize when I'm done and turn the damn thing off.
3) Like I said, pay off my car. I can't wait to send in that last check.
4) Take my camera everywhere I go and learn to shoot pictures of people fearlessly.
5) Last year I resolved to read a book a week. Then I realized, I'm not in school anymore and don't have that kind of time. This year I resolve to read a more modest 40 books.
6) I need to do better about sending out birthday cards and in some cases, presents. Christmas, I'm all over it, but birthdays are another story. I'm usually at least a week behind. Sometimes years. In college it was so bad that I was giving Trish her birthday presents (which is in July) at Christmas. I'm lucky to have such understanding friends.

The Mall...or CarMax?

Now that I've got my fancy pants camera, I figured I'd start posting a new photo every day and torture the rest of you. Why limit it to just Jasclo and the Mr.? I'm going to take the camera everywhere I go (when possible) and take millions of pictures and get good and you'll notice the improvement. At least...that's the plan.

This pic was taken at the mall three days after Christmas. My car is that teeny tiny little speck all the way in the back.Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Looking Ahead to Christmas 2005 (what?)

Would you believe me if I told you that I have already bought two gifts for next Christmas? Well, I did. On sale! I don't want to divulge exactly what I got, but they are part of a larger themed gift: A Winter Survival Kit. And if you are not the person or people I'm giving them to, you're welcome to stop by and see how very bad-ass these components are. Harder than finding the desire to spend yet more money after Christmas is going to be waiting to give them to their intended recipients or in the case of one present, not breaking it out and playing with it myself.

Not that I've ever done that. Nooooo.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Yo, Check It!

Look what I got for Christmas! I'm in love. As soon as I was able to figure out how it worked, I assaulted my family with it. Posted by Hello

Nabby often doesn't cooperate for the camera, and once in awhile she gives me a cool photo because of that. Thanks for not sitting still this time, booger! Posted by Hello

Posted by Hello

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Posted by Hello

Monday, December 27, 2004

Public Service Announcement

If you're going to eat M&Ms, buy them in the little bags at the store. Do not get a big bag and measure out a proper serving. It's too damn depressing.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

I Hate to Complain

And really, this isn't a complaint. In fact, a complaint would be totally pointless, because nothing can really be done about it. And it probably only bugs me because my family is 3,000 miles away and I wind up with too much time on my hands.

But, two things that bug me about holidays (not just Christmas) are:
1) No mail. Driving home from work and wondering what's in your mailbox is all kinds of fun. The upshot is that there's usually a ton of mail the next day (or Monday, as in the case of this year).
2) The Internet is dead. Hellooooo (hello hello hello). See what I mean? There's an echo! Where is everyone? Did it take all day to open your presents? Get back here! Nah, not really. Enjoy your holiday. But I miss everyone.

See you again on Monday, right?

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Christmas!

You have to love midnight mass. It gets the whole church thing out of the way so you can get right down to business, then pass out on a pile of wrapping paper and sleep in until noon and then write something in the blog. Perfect. I think it's going to be our own little tradition: church, then presents, because it's officially Christmas, baby! In fact, I think we've done it at least two years, possibly three, when neither of us has gone home for the holidays. So, that pretty much qualifies in my book.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 24, 2004

Nabby McBeal

Last night we were watching "Reservoir Dogs." The scene with "Hooked on a Feeling" came on, and the Mr. and I started going, "Ooga chaka, ooga chaka, ooga ooga ooga chaka..." Then Nabby let loose with her howl/bark combo. What the hell? After the song stopped, she put her head back down as though nothing had happened. I had Mr. rewind it and play that part again. Right on cue, her head shot up, ears went erect...WOOF! WOOF!....WOOF! I wanted him to rewind it again (and again and again and again) to keep making her bark because it was just so damn funny, but he wants to save it to use as a party trick.

She would have hated Ally McBeal.

P.S. Merry Christmas Eve!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Conversation at Dinner Last Night That Gets Off Track, and Then Back to the Point

"I think your hearing is getting worse."
"Are you kidding? My hearing is amazing!"
"I'm not saying that you need hearing aids or anything, but you couldn't even hear me when I said that the croutons were good, like, three times." [He thought I said, "This song is good."]
"No way, man. My hearing is as good as it was 20 years ago."
"Now that's impossible."
"Not in my case! I could hear the CD alarm clock in college queuing up in the morning. I still can."
"Even I can hear that!"
"But really, come on. My eyesight is really poor, so my hearing is stronger for it. Just like your eyesight is great and your hearing isn't. When one sense is weaker, the other senses compensate for it."
"That didn't work out so well for Helen Keller." [I'm just being contrary here]
"Well, she's an anomaly."
"My eyesight is better than your hearing, anyway."
"I doubt that."
"Seriously, when I was little, the doctors talked about the possibility of donating my eyes to science when I die."
"But Superman wishes he had my eyesight. And I was the inspiration for Wonder Woman. My eyesight is amazing."
"Anyway, my hearing is fine."

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Confessions of a Bread Dough Eater

I have always had weird taste in food. Why, just 2 weeks ago, I found myself dipping marshmallows in Magic Shell. No, I don't know why. But I did, and I liked it. And Hostess Sno-Balls. Yum, dude. I don't care if they look like silicone implants.

Here are two moments from my childhood someone could point to and say, "Here's where it all went wrong.":

Chicago, IL, circa 1975: My earliest memory ever. I believe I was about two. One morning, I awoke, and like most kids, it was way before anyone else was up. I don't think I was ever one of those spaz children who would go barging in to their parents' room jumping on the bed the minute they woke up. You're welcome, mom and dad! I'd just do my own thing until someone came by. It was usually then that I'd get into the most trouble (but that's another entry). This particular morning, I decided to go into the pantry, close the door behind me and dive into a box of brown sugar. It's what's for breakfast! I'm not sure how long I was in there, but that's where mom found me when she woke up. She opened the door, and there I was, crouched on the floor, the box in one hand, and a generous scoop of brown sugar in the other. "You're going to get worms!" she said. Oh, puh-leeze.

Redwood City, CA, circa 1980: As was her wont, mom was making bread. The kind with yeast. YUM. She'd get a bowl of hot water, break open the little packet of yeast, proceed with the dough-making and finally, put it in her giant yellow Tupperware bowl, cover it with a dishcloth and let it rise. As soon as she left the kitchen, there I was. First, poking at the dough. Second, grabbing a chunk and eating it. Mmmm. So good. I couldn't stop. That yeasty taste was so...weird. In a good way. "What are you doing?" Busted. "You're going to get worms! And your stomach will blow up!" Pshaw. Right! Although I did feel kind of sick afterward.

And for the record, I never once got worms. So there!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Mary and I were talking about the lovely exclamation point yesterday, and I said I was going to have to write a blog entry about it. Yes, Mary, everything is fodder now! The rest of you, you've been put on notice! Watch what you say around me, because I might write about it, and then it will be read by fives of people. Maybe tens on a really good day.

Mary has a friend who once used so many exlamation points in an e-mail that the recipient's spam filter deleted it. How awesome is that? That's someone who is totally out of control right there.

I've never used that many, but I think I can come off a little spazzy in e-mail sometimes. Last week I went through one of my Ofoto albums and noticed that in one of them, I used exclamations on nearly every picture. Why on earth did I do that? I sound like I'm yelling everything. "Here's the kitchen!" "Here's the back yard! Isn't it the best!" "Oh my god, somebody help! I can't stop!"

The exclamation point is the easiest way to sound friendly. When I get an e-mail from someone sans exclamation points, I'm thinking, "Man, what's her problem?" And I don't want anyone to think that about me, unless my intent totally was to be bitchy. Then you get zero exclamation points, and maybe even a >:(

It's really easy to go overboard, though. How do you straddle the line between coming off like an ass and coming off like a tweaked-out 13 year old?

What the world needs now, besides love, sweet love, is a nice e-mail program that filters all the sarcasm and non-sarcasm content and makes it all translate perfectly on the recipient's end.

Monday, December 20, 2004

Have You Ever?

Brazenly swiped from TomTomClub!
The ones I've done are bolded. I have added one of my own to the bottom. And wow, I really haven't done much, have I? Off to remedy that right now...

Bought everyone in the pub a drink
Swam with wild dolphins
Climbed a moutain
Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
Been inside the Great Pyramid
Held a tarantula
Said "I love you" and meant it
Hugged a tree
Bungee jumped
Visited Paris
Watched a lightning storm at sea
Stayed up all night long, and watched the sun rise
Seen the Northern Lights
Gone to a huge sports game -- in my mind they were huge, like when Nabby made 50-something saves against the Caps 2 years ago and only gave up one goal, right in front of our faces!
Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Grown and eaten your own vegetables
Touched an iceberg
Slept under the stars
Changed a baby’s diaper
Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
Watched a meteor shower
Gotten drunk on champagne
Given more than you can afford to charity
Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment -- I almost had one at our wedding!
Had a food fight
Bet on a winning horse
Taken a sick day when you're not ill
Asked out a stranger
Had a snowball fight
Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
Enacted a favorite fantasy
Taken a midnight skinny dip
Taken an ice cold bath
Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
Seen a total eclipse
Ridden a roller coaster
Hit a home run
Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
Adopted an accent for an entire day
Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
Had two hard drives for your computer
Visited all 50 states
Loved your job for all accounts
Taken care of someone who was drunk
Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Have amazing friends
Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
Watched wild whales
Stolen a sign
Backpacked in Europe
Taken a road-trip
Been rock climbing
Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
Midnight walk on the beach
Been sky diving
Visited Ireland
Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them -- does it count that on my 30th birthday in Vegas, some guy on the other side of the glass kept looking over at me and my friends while he was dining with his wife and so I climbed up right next to the glass and stared at him, grinned and waved? He didn't look over again, let me tell you.
Visited Japan
Benchpressed your own weight
Milked a cow
Alphabetized your records/cds
Pretended to be a superhero -- Wonder Woman!
Sung karaoke
Lounged around in bed all day
Been scuba diving
Kissed in the rain
Played in the mud
Played in the rain
Gone to a drive-in theater
Done something you should regret, but don't regret -- this would be when I was a receptionist at a big company in CA. They treated me like dirt. One day, I stormed into my boss' office, told her what I thought of her, my fellow receptionists and the company as a whole. Then I left in the middle of my shift. They called me every morning for the rest of the week, and I laid in bed smiling as they left messages saying, "Are you there?? Are you coming in today??" NOPE.
Visited the Great Wall of China
Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
Dropped Windows in favor of something better
Started a business
Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
Toured ancient sites
Taken a martial arts class
Swordfought for the honor of a woman -- do people still do this?
Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
Gotten married
Been in a movie
Crashed a party
Loved someone you shouldn't have -- please! I don't know why I went out with half the guys I did.
Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
Gotten divorced
Gone without food for 5 days
Made cookies from scratch
Won first prize in a costume contest
Ridden a gondola in Venice
Gotten a tattoo
Rafted the Snake River
Been on television news programs as an "expert"
Got flowers for no reason
Got so drunk you don't remember anything
Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
Performed on stage
Been to Las Vegas
Recorded music
Eaten shark
Gone to Thailand
Seen Siouxsie live -- sadly, I never have!
Bought a house
Been in a combat zone
Buried one/both of your parents
Been on a cruise ship
Spoken more than one language fluently
Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
Performed in Rocky Horror
Read - and understood - your credit report
Raised children
Gotten lost in a character
Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
Created and named your own constellation of stars
Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
Found out something significant that your ancestors did
Called or written your Congress person
Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
Had plastic surgery
Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
Wrote articles for a large publication
Lost over 100 pounds -- Does it count if I lost and regained the same 10 lbs 10 times?
Held someone while they were having a flashback
Piloted an airplane
Petted a shark
Broken someone's heart
Helped an animal give birth
Been fired or laid off from a job
Won money on a T.V. game show
Gone on an African photo safari
Ridden a motorcycle
Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph/160 kph
Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
Ridden a horse
Had major surgery
Had a snake as a pet
Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
Slept through an entire flight
Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
Visited all 7 continents
Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
Eaten kangaroo meat
Been a sperm or egg donor
Eaten sushi
Had your picture in the newspaper -- When I lost the district spelling bee to FIONA HENDERSON (I will never, ever forget her name), a photographer got me crying. UGH.
Had 2 healthy romantic relationships lasting longer than a year
Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about -- I'm sure I have...probably everyone has done that once!
Gotten someone fired for their actions -- Sorry, Dairy Queen guy. I didn't know it would go that far!
Gone back to school
Changed your name
Petted a cockroach
Eaten fried green tomatoes
Read The Iliad
Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read it
Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups
Taught yourself an art from scratch
Killed and prepared an animal for eating
Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
Skipped all your school reunions -- I have no desire to see any of them again
Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
Been elected to public office
Written your own computer language
Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream -- I often thought this in college at parties
Had to put someone you love into hospice care
Built your own PC from parts
Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
Had a booth at a street fair
Dyed your hair
Been a DJ
Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
Written your own role playing game
Been arrested
Gotten a speeding ticket
Known all your immediate neighbors by name
Seen part of a high-profile murder trial in person -- two, in fact! Ramon Salcido and Scott Peterson.

That's The Way I Like It

Just in time for Christmas, a present from Ben Lee. (Click on the present to play the song) Adorable! The man just epitomizes cuteness. I can't wait until February, when his new CD comes out. His music isn't going to change the world, but his music is pure pop perfection.

Does the U2 iPod not do it for you? Try one of these.

Lastly, it snowed last night! It isn't much, but it's something.

Sunday, December 19, 2004


It's time to share an alternately embarrassing and funny story.

Mr. N and I went to a hockey game in Raleigh a couple years ago. The location of this arena isn't all that great (and by that I mean, there are no restaurants within walking distance), which is pretty shrewd and diabolical on their part, because that forces the hockey fans to get their dinner at the arena, where they will pay $10 for a small soda.

So, there we are. Starving. We had a lot of things with us (jackets, etc.), so Mr. N got his food first, and when he got back, I went to concessions and ordered my dinner. "Hmmm..." I thought to myself as I looked over the menu, "I shall get me a hot dog."

My turn was up. "I'll have a Beef Master, please." Oh no. Did I really just say that? But that's the way it's written on the menu! I mean, do I ignore what they've named their products, especially when they are that laden with double entendres or do I just go with the flow and pretend like hot dogs named The Beef Master are normal and not at all mortifying to order?

Clearly, it wasn't normal, and judging by the look on the MALE cashier's face, most people smartly went with the former option. "Er, what?"

"The Beef Master." OH MY GOD. What is wrong with me!? I said it again! Once was bad enough, but twice? I am such a stupid idiot. It's like a plot from the worst porn movie ever made. Chick in a hockey jersey picks up a zit-faced concessions cashier by ordering The Beef Master (wink, wink).

At this point, he probably just wanted me to get lost, and I have no doubt that he wanted to die a small death himself, so he just got me my hot dog, and off I went. He and his fellow cashiers probably had a great laugh over $10 Cokes after the game. I hope I didn't scar him for life. I sure scarred myself, though.

As an interesting side note, I learned from Fast Food Nation that the Beef Master is really a certain breed of cow. Hmmm...let's see...nope, doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Am I a Pundit?

This is the only thing I'll say, and then we are moving on: I don't think my "attack" on SUVs was ill-conceived. It's my blog, the Land of Nabbalicious, where nothing is ill-conceived and I am in charge. You are free to defend your lifestyle if you wish. I mean, unless your lifestyle is being a serial killer or something. I'm sorry, serial killers, but I can't get behind you on that one. I know my lifestyle ain't perfect, either. Almost nobody's is. But if someone doesn't agree, that's fine. There are lots of blogs, I'm sure, complete with free mp3s of hymns singing the praises of the SUV (maybe Charlotte Church is one of the singers), and you can go read them and comment how right they are.

If I had a new spin on SUVs, please tell me. Perhaps I'm in the wrong line of work and need to go to Washington and be a lobbyist or run the EPA with all my original thoughts and ideas about them. It was my personal opinion, meant to be humorous and poke fun and yes, it did come off like a directive, but that's my style. If anyone's going to take it as a literal statement or a personal attack, then I really don't know what to do with that and I'm sorry I can't help you. I mean, I'm not writing government policy here.

It's just a fun place for me to spew my thoughts, and anyone curious can come around and read them and say stuff. I never meant for things to get as heated as they did. Seriously, not everything has to be so damn serious all the time. If y'all want to say how us city dwellers think we're so superior and self-important and better than the suburbanites and how our houses are just going to get robbed, mock away! Mock away that I go to the gym and work out with the other pod people. It IS totally freaking silly AND expensive. I can laugh at myself and my lifestyle, and I don't think laughing about it does anything to degrade it because in the end: hey, it's my lifestyle, I like it, you don't have to, it's not for everyone, and thank god, because the gym would be a whole lot more crowded. I'm not going to get all pissed off that someone doesn't agree with me or says nasty things about it. Please, life is too short for that.

TomMom, I didn't even know you drove an SUV, to be honest. Or maybe I did, but forgot until I saw your comment.

For the record: I have to confirm, Alison, that yes, there is a pickup in Jasclo's family, but technically, it's her husband's and the only time she's driven it recently is helping me get my table. Jasclo drives a Mini, and before that, a Chevy Cavalier. :D I have NO idea what the gas mileage is on any of those vehicles.

Now. I am going to watch the Gilmore Girls episode I taped yesterday.

Note to Self

Write about SUVs more often. That was interesting, no? One post, made in the wee hours of the morning (for me, anyway) before the coffee had kicked in, gets everyone all riled up and excited, and I got a record number of comments, flame wars, hits and page views. Love it! And I felt stupid for writing about SUVs anyway, because it's kind of a tired argument and it's not like I broke any new ground with my own. Sooooooo, whatever. Moving on!

Yesterday, Mr. Nabbalicious said, "Hey, now that we've mailed our presents and we're pretty much done with Christmas, why don't we just open everything now? Why bother waiting?" He has a point, I suppose, but I can't believe his Catholic guilt wouldn't kick in for doing that. I have guilt just thinking about it. But...perhaps we could rationalize it by saying that Baby Jesus would rather that we not spend his birthday opening gifts, and rather, reflecting on the meaning of the day. Haaaa, hahahaha. The verdict is: we're waiting. It's only a week!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Get Rid of Your SUV, For Starters

Check out this story. I find that so alarming and scary and sad -- glaciers are pretty. It's really freaky that something normally taking thousands of years is almost happening in a lifetime.

And that brings me to SUVs. I know they aren't the world's biggest problem, but they're big and huge and everywhere, and I'm tired of being stuck behind one in traffic. I need to see what's going on! Jesus H. Christ, do you really need a car that big? Most of the people I see in them can barely drive them properly. Go to your local Target parking lot and watch them try to back out of their spaces. They can't do it in one shot. And they can't see people who drive normal-size cars. I'm forever getting pushed over and cut off because some tool in his SUV can't figure out that every spot is his blind spot.

Aside from making people feel higher up, what, exactly is the advantage to driving these monolithic pieces of crap? Their stellar mileage? They way you can't get into one gracefully while wearing a skirt? Knowing you could crush somebody in a fender bender, and then drive off because your car will not have a scratch and you'll never get caught, and also, because at the time of said fender bender, there were 40 other SUVs on the road just like yours and no one would be able to pick you out of a lineup? Ah-ha! That must be it.

Wait? You say need it to cart around your 12 children while you shuttle them to soccer practice and Applebee's for dinner? Nobody needs 12 children anyway. Next time, keep it to two or less. And your kids don't need to be playing soccer, because it's lame. Have them take piano lessons with a nice neighborhood lady whose house they can walk to. No one really needs to eat at Applebee's either, unless your kids are on Weight Watchers. And if they are, I'm going to cry. Don't do that to your kids. Take them to a nice local pizzeria instead. Problem solved! You're welcome.

And Hummers. Don't get me started on those. Someone's clearly overcompensating for something.

Don't Cry for Me on Christmas, The Truth Is I Don't Mind Working

The nature of my field means I work a lot of holidays. This also means many holiday discussions are as follows: "So, what are your plans for Christmas?" "Well, I have to work." (pause) "Oh." (sad face). And then somehow I wind up comforting them. "Really, it's OK. I'm used to this. I have gone through the five stages of grief, and me and acceptance are bosom buddies. Oh, please. Don't cry! I'm fine, really! Oh, come on, do you really need a hug?!"

Actually, this isn't just holidays. It's weekends, too. Yes, folks, I'm screwed all around. Holidays AND weekends. Clearly, I have no pictures of people in compromising positions in my possession.

Every Saturday in spinning, my instructor goes around the room during class and asks everyone what they're doing for the weekend. I've been going to spinning so long now and my answer has always been the same, so now when she gets to me, she just says, "Nabbalicious, you're working, right?" And I hang my head. Except there was one Saturday that I had off to go see Ben Lee and I went to spinning that morning and she didn't ask us what we were doing. Inside I was screaming, "Ask me! Ask me! I DON'T HAVE TO WORK! I HAVE PLANS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON TODAY! Please, let me tell you all about it!" Now she'll never know that once in a while, on a weekend or holiday, I do something fun.

Last year, I was off on Christmas day, and I didn't go home. Let me tell you, if you're off on Christmas and your husband has to work and you're not going home home and are nowhere near your home home, you really should just go to work. It was probably one of the most depressing and lonely days of my life. I think about it now, and my heart feels heavy. And I love being alone, so this is really saying something. You know how It's a Wonderful Life is supposed to make you feel all good and gushy inside? I watched it that night and it made me feel even worse. I mean, there's George surrounded by everyone telling him how much he is loved and he decides he is loved after all and everyone's crying all over the place and it's so damn happy. And then there was me, on my couch thinking, "Where is everyone?" Just do not watch that movie if you're feeling lonely, because it will seriously make you feel worse. In summary: It was awful.

So, this year, I am working, and I'm totally looking forward to it. Mr. Nabbalicious is working as well, so he won't have to be miserable like I was last year. We're going to have a little party, and I am going to make my famous disgusting Sugar Bombs, which fell out of the sugar tree and hit every sugar branch on the way down to the ground, where they landed in a pile of sugar. You can't eat them unless you have proof of a dentist appointment on Monday. I think that's an FDA regulation or something. And it will be a merry, sugary little Christmas indeed!

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

If you are my neighbor, you will be getting some of these within the next 24 hours. If you're not, well, sucks to be you, huh? However, not all hope is gone. Do you work with me? And are you positive I don't hate you? You also might get some. Cookies, that is! Man, you have a dirty mind! Posted by Hello

Now let's have a moment of silence for our fallen snowmen, who served with such bravery. They were rotund. They had coal for eyes. They had no mouths, yet they never complained about that. I don't see how they would have, because they also had no arms to write with. But if they did, I can tell just by looking at them that they wouldn't have complained. Ah, you were all such good snowmen. Now I'm going to bite your heads off.Posted by Hello

Colors That Should Not Be Found in Nature

Whenever anyone leaves the building late at night at work, a giant rustle of leaves is heard, and then come the birds. Millions of them (in no way am I exaggerating), swarming in a giant black, swirling, flapping mass between our building and the apartments across the street. If you look closely, you can see the poop flying.

Such was the case Monday night. I covered my head and ran to my car like a spaz. Then I got there. It was a Jackson Pollack masterpiece, except instead of oil-based paint, it was poop. And instead of being painted by Jackson Pollack, it was painted by Birdie McPoopington. And right there, on the driver's side window, was a giant streak of maroon poop. Maroon. Who poops maroon? Happily, I get a look at it anytime I need to merge. Thankfully, it's a little transparent so it's not completely obstructing my view. It makes me gag.


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Quotes from Movies That I Have Found Are Oddly Appropriate At Various Times in Life

"Tonight, I'm going to be the super me."
"What if the super you meets the super her and the super her rejects the super you?"
"Then it's no problem."
"Uh-huh. Why?"
"It was never really you. It was just an act."

"I could put strychnine in the margaritas." (or "I could set this building on fire.")

"You invade my soul." (also, "If you know so much about women, what are you doing at the Gas n' Sip on a Saturday night?")

"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

"How the fuck am I funny? Am I like a clown? Do I amuse you?"

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Things I Am Afraid Of

Personal philosophy: When the well has run dry, revert to lists!

In no particular order of scariness or rational-ness:
  • Bees. We've been over this.
  • Wasps. Worse than bees. They sting and sting and sting and sting until you die, or worse.
  • Cockroaches. In Florida, the cockroaches fly. And they are the size of mice. There are so many reasons to not live in Florida, but this is the only one any sane person would need to hear before making their desicion.
  • Sidewalk grates. When you walk over them, you could fall through. And there are alligators down there.
  • Open doors when I am sleeping (especially the closet). Someone could be watching in the shadows, like monsters. The kind that have blood dripping from their pores. They want to grab your ankles.
  • Under the bed at night. Again with the monsters. They could reach out and grab your ankles.
  • Cemeteries. Aside from the fact that it's disrespectful to walk on graves, another reason you shouldn't do it is that those corpses could reach through the ground...and, yes, grab your ankles.
  • Having my ankles and wrists touched. It absolutely freaks me out. I'm being totally serious. For the love of god, do not go near my ankles or wrists. It's one of the reasons I don't wear a watch and infrequently wear bracelets. The only place I can think of where it might come from is when I was 8, a lady bumped me with her cart at the grocery store and cut my ankle. It hurt so much and scarred me for life. I hope that lady is happy.
  • Garbage disposals. They could kick on spontaneously and eat your hand. Yes, they could.
  • Ghosts. Meep.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Um, Good Luck With That

Best quote I heard last week:

"If I get cavity searched, you are in big trouble!!"

Said by a girl in my photography class to her husband. They're going to Cuba this week (via Mexico), and she's heard rumors that travelers can be invasively searched when they arrive back in North America. The whole trip was her husband's idea.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Female Stuff

Men, you may want to skip this entry.

Ladies. Ahem. Most of us are fully aware that we tend to, er, synch up with other women we spend a lot of time with. Well, getting married and going on the honeymoon was great and all. But then I got back, and my Pal in PMS, Jasclo, had the NERVE to synch up with someone else. Utter betrayal! I was only gone for about two weeks, woman!

Ever since then, things have been all out of whack. I was left to PMS alone, which is the equivalent of solitary confinement. And while I do believe that Mr. Nabbalicious is prone to his own bouts of PMS, it's really not the same because he will never truly know the misery of cramps. And it's no fun to send an e-mail saying, "I hate everyone and want them all to die!" and getting a response saying, "Aw, sorry you're having a bad day! :( The sun is shining and the flowers are blooming in my world!" Unacceptable! You want commisseration. You want an e-mail back that says, "YEAH! Let's go get them NOW! Who's holding down, and who's doing the kicking?"

The flip side of that sucks, too. Your friend is having a miserable day, and you can't really feel like a truly good friend and hate the world with her.

Much to my glee, Jasclo informed me this afternoon that she is totally PMSing, which means we are almost, almost synched up once again!

This means that soon, for about one week of every month, we will be miserable and bitchy together, and we will be a force. Don't stand in our way!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

My Band: Sold Out

Some of us have been discussing our hypothetical band names lately, along with their song and album titles. It's really sad that actual naming talent is completely wasted on us, because none of us has any rock star musical talent. I can play the piano, but seriously, you can't be a rock star with one. The best I could hope for is backing up Celine Dion caterwauling.

My personal all-time favorite hypothetical band name (which I came up with, thankyouverymuch) is...drum roll...Sold Out. Can you imagine the confusion? I can, and it makes me laugh. When I picture funny things in my head, the potential for mass confusion is usually involved. "Sold Out is playing! it sold out? Or are they just trying to tell us it's the band and tickets are still available? My head hurts! I need to lay down!"

Mike said that with a name like that, I'd be opening myself up to all kinds of easy criticism, until I reminded him that, duh, my band would not suck. In fact, if my band got really huge, I'd have my rider amended to state that the venues in which we perform are not permitted to identify us as anything other than "Sold Out." No "the band" for clarification or anything like that. The whole point is to confuse the hell out of people and I don't want anyone standing in the way of our mission.

Yeah, yeah, I know we'd have some hurdles with a name like that and whether people would actually come to our shows in our early years, thinking we're sold out for real. And I'm sure no one would want us to open for them, because the marquee would say, "The White Stripes...Sold Out." But as Cliff Poncier would say, "This negative energy just makes me stronger! And tonight...we rock Portland!"

Tonight during our break, Jasclo, Mike and I had another band name discussion, and I don't know if we were just punchy from too much recirculated air and flourescent lighting but we were one step from literally rolling on the floor laughing. I mentioned how Mary told me that her band would have an album called "Self-Titled Debut."

Mike threw out The White, "Album." Genius! Can you imagine the hilarity? "Did you hear the new White Album?" "What? That album is old, dude." "Nooo, the NEW one!"

Things then took a turn toward the ridiculous. My offering: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart Club, "Band." Jasclo's idea: Michael, "Jackson Thriller." Another gem from Mike: Abbey, "Road."

Couldn't you just cry? Not a guitar player among us and all these great names just crying out to be used. Maybe we could sell them on eBay.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Things You Just Figure Out...Eventually

Someone at work last week was telling me how for years he thought "Chick-Fil-A" was pronounced "Chick Fillah." Then, one glorious day, someone asked him if he wanted to have lunch at "Chick-Fil-A" (said properly), and there was this long pause, followed by, "OHHHHHH!"

Just recently, I shared with Mr. Nabbalicious and Eugene that I always thought Broadway (as in, New York) meant any show playing at Radio City Music Hall. You can imagine my excitement when our family decided to vacation there in 1989 and take us to see "A Chorus Line."

Not only would I get to hear that hilarious T&A ("Dance: Ten, Looks: Three") song (which I knew at that age, because our P.E. teacher in 7th grade let us see it during class -- and no, I don't know why we were watching movies in P.E. class, but that did make it the best P.E. class ever, in my book -- because she had made this big show of how she was just going to fast forward through this one part "you're all too young to see and maybe you should see it when you're adults and you get the joke" so of course, she had our attention and we begged and pleaded, and finally, risking her entire teaching career, she relented and showed it to us, as long as we all swore not to tell a soul), but I would get to see the Rockettes! Just like Little Orphan Annie! Would the ushers light the aisles for us with their little flashlights and wear their little hats? Would they sing, "Let's go to the moooveees, let's go seeee the starrrrs!"?

Well, no, they wouldn't. Because Broadway consists of a cluster of theaters in one district. Don't get me wrong, Chorus Line was great and all. But I did wonder what the hell was going on when the cab pulled up to Not Radio City Music Hall.

Learn a new thing every day. And I still haven't even seen the Rockettes!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

geT Ur SpAm sHirT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

ljc wrote about this today: Spam Shirts! It's one of those ideas I'm kicking myself for not having thought of. Spam drives most people crazy, but I don't mind it so much because the subject lines are more often than not a riot.

The site is especially funny just to wander around, because there are spam subject lines on there that are randomly generated.

If I were to get one of these, I'd want it to say either, "We know about your debt problems" or a combination of words that sounds like someone's been Googlewhacking, like ambidextrous scallywags (does anyone else get that spam, or is it just me?).

Year End Round-Up

I swiped this from TomTomClub, who always seems to find the fun things. Yeah, yeah. There are still a few weeks in 2004, but it's safe to say most of the major stuff has been taken care of and the reflection can start.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? Bought a house. Got married. Visited another country that wasn't Mexico.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Ah, HAHAHAHA. Yeah, I'll make more for next year anyway. What can I say? I'm resilient.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Jane is due any second now, so by year's end a good friend will have given birth. Lots of colleagues/acquaintances had babies this year, too.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no. A family friend died of cancer, though, and left behind an adorable young daughter.

5. What countries did you visit? Italy.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? As always, the winnings of a record-high state lottery (I will take the lump-sum, thank you).

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 15, natch! It was our wedding day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finally enrolling in a photography class, after months and months and possibly years of saying I will take steps in my life to make changes in areas in which I am not happy. Oh, and becoming the handywoman in the household. I've given up hope that Mr. Nabbalicious will become one, so I've learned how to do all kinds of things around the house on my own. Feeling self-sufficient is the greatest thing in the world. The feeling of knowing I don't have to call someone for help is a natural high.

9. What was your biggest failure? I think my biggest failure is how much time I spend on the computer, and how wasteful it can be. It sucks my energy and puts me in such a stupor that I have no drive left for anything else. I will resolve to spend less time on it in 2005, and to recognize when I've gotten all I can out of it at any given time and just hit "shut down."

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope.

11. What was the best thing you bought? The house. It was scary and full of doubt and the craziest and smartest thing I think either of us has done. Aside from getting married, of course!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Jasclo, because she has such flair; the Mr., because he's trying to slow down; Alison, because she just became a teacher and is doing so well.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I really want to stay away from politics here. ;) Oh, and also, hockey players.

14. Where did most of your money go? The house, baby shower and bridal shower presents.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Buying new things for the house, buying anything in general, when a good band played nearby, my friends having babies. They are ALL pregnant (with the exception of TomTom Club, Jasclo, Maiada and Mary. There, y'all. Are you HAPPY?!). It's very surreal.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004? Girl on the Wing by the Shins. I don't know why.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:i. happier or sadder? Generally happier. I feel like our money is finally going somewhere good and Nabby is a little rascal who lights up our lives.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? More hockey games! We only went to maybe two at the beginning of the year, and who knows if we'll ever see another one. Stupid lockout.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Not returning phone calls. Oh, who am I kidding? I hate talking on the phone. It's nothing personal, people.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Work.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004? Nope, just the same old guy I've always been in love with!

23. How many one-night stands? Did you not see the thing about how I got married?

24. What was your favorite TV program? The Amazing Race, Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, Survivor

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Yes.

26. What was the best book you read? Easy: Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? It wasn't exactly a discovery because I've liked them for awhile now, but Modest Mouse's new album rocks. I also fell in love with the Shins.

28. What did you want and get? I wanted to see some good shows, and did. I wanted to learn photography, and did. I wanted more shoes, and got those. Some were even on sale!

30. What was your favorite film of this year? We really had an off year for movies, but Garden State was really enjoyable. I don't think we saw a bad film this year, though.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I went to work and turned 31. Jasclo was a total sweetie and brought in a cake, and we had a party of four later in the evening. It was very nice! Mr. Nabbalicious was out of town, which really blew.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If I only had to work, say, part-time and had plenty of time for new pursuits. Maybe learn a new language, or develop my photography skills, travel, lay around and watch DVDs.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? A great pair of shoes makes the perfect outfit.

34. What kept you sane? Mr. Nabbalicious was instrumental as it got close to the wedding and I was spazzing out in quite the fashion. My friends at work always have a hand in helping me not lose it. Thank god for e-mail at the office, right?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I tend to fancy Michael Vartan and Adrien Brody.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The whole election.

37. Who did you miss? I miss my grandpas and grandma on my dad's side. It would have been nice if they had been at the wedding.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Well, that would be Mary!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: You should strip the wires before connecting them. If you just connect them with the plastic on, you see, your light fixture won't work.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "I’m going to be a happy idiot And struggle for the legal tender Where the ads take aim and lay their claim To the heart and the soul of the spender And believe in whatever may lie In those things that money can buy"

More Pics

Here are just a few more pics I took while in NYC.
Forgive the poor quality. The scans are from a proof sheet, which I spilled water on at some point.

Step by Step...Oooh Baby!

The following verdict has been rendered by Mike (for The Biggest Loser contest):

It is this judge's judgment that Mary has a dorkier collection than [Nabbalicious]. While [Nabbalicious] made it interesting with her affinity for Wham (she adored Andrew Ridgeley), Jewel (who reeked of artifice from day one) and Culture Club (recognizably cheesy, even by the low standards of the '80s), Mary committed the unpardonable sin of having two NKOTBs in her collection. And then there was the "Cocktail" soundtrack.. .my penalties were especially harsh for lousy soundtracks from suck-faced movies, since that meant you showed horrible tastes times two! I mean, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and "Kokomo"? Oh, the humanity. And then there was The Party. "Sugar is Sweet"?.....hurrrrrrrrrllllllllllll!

Man, I just knew when I saw her list and she had NKOTB and Milli Vanilli, I was dead in the water. It was a total sucker bet, people. She really should have disclosed the Milli Vanilli tape during discovery, although I can't blame her for not doing so. Who freely admits to owning that? I owned it when it came out, but then the whole scandal broke and the record stores let you return the tape for your money back, and that's what I did. Not out of any moral indignation, just because, hey, money!

Here is the winning collection:
Ricky Astley - Whenever You Need Somebody
Milli Vanilli - Girl You Know It's True
Cyndi Lauper - True Colors
NKOTB - Hangin' Tough
NKOTB - Step By Step
Heart - a mix
Cocktail soundtrack
Janet Jackson - Rhythm Nation 1814
En Vogue - Funky Divas
Massive Dance 98 (dance mix from UK including Backstreet Boys)
Outkast - ATLiens
DAG - Righteous
Paul Simon - Negotiations and Love Songs
Russ Freeman and the Rippingtons - Sahara (I think this is my dad's?)
Madonna - True Blue
Public Enemy - Greatest Misses
The Party - In the Meantime, In Between Time (The Party was created from members of the Mickey Mouse Club, and I adored them. You'll have to hear it to believe it.)
Warren G - Regulate ... G Funk Era
Honeymoon in Vegas soundtrack
Bob Seger - Greatest Hits
Garth Brooks - The Hits
Teenage Fanclub - Bandwagonesque
Mike Watt - Ballhog or Tugboat?
Encomium - Tribute to Led Zepplin
A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory
DJ Chuck Chillout and Kool Chip - Masters of the Rhythm
Sublime - 40 Oz. To Freedom Singles
US3 - Cantaloop
Blackstreet - No Diggity
Outkast - Elevators
UB40 - Can't Help Falling in Love
D'Angelo - Brown Sugar

Here is my collection:
Barenaked Ladies - Rock Spectacle
Culture Club - Greatest Hits
Sid and Nancy Soundtrack
Jewel - first disc
Duran Duran - Rio
Duran Duran - 7 & the Ragged Tiger
Nirvana - Nevermind
David Bowie - Changes
Men at Work - Business As Usual
Rainy Days mixtape - featuring Rainy Days and Mondays (Carpenters)
Erasure - Two Ring Circus
The Cure - Japanese Whispers
INXS - Listen Like Thieves
Best of the Doors
Social Distortion
Crowded House
Radiohead: Creep single
The Cure: Lullaby single
The Cure: Boys Don't Cry
The Cure: The Top
Michael Penn: This & That single
Guns n' Roses: Don't Cry single
Damn Yankees: High Enough single
Enya: Oronoco Flow single
The Beloved: Hello single
4 Non-Blondes: What's Up? single
Pet Shop Boys: So Hard single
Jimi Hendrix: R U Experienced?
Ozzy Osbourne: No Rest for the Wicked
Duran Duran: Rio
Michael Jackson: Thriller
The Cure: Fascination Street single
Spin Doctors: Little Miss Can't Be Wrong single
Faith No More: Epic single
Enigma: Sadness Part I single
Depeche Mode: Personal Jesus single
Pet Shop Boys: How Can You Expect to be Taken Seriously? single
Tracy Chapman: Crossroads
Kon Kan: I Beg Your Pardon single
Elton John: The One
John Lennon: Imagine
Eat, Drink & Be Merry mix tape, featuring food and liquor themed songs Arwen and I listened to on our way to Key West ages ago (featuring Beer for Breakfast, Replacements; Raspberry Beret, Prince; Sweet Potato, Cracker; You, Me, Bottle Makes 3, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, etc. etc.)
Chris Isaak, Don't Make Me Dream About You single
Stone Temple Pilots, Core
Dead Milkmen, Punk Rock Girl single
Led Zeppelin II
Alice in Chains, Dirt
Public Image Limited, 9
Red Flag, Naive Art
Gene Loves Jezebel, Jealous
Faith No More, Easy single
The Cure, Disintegration
Erasure, Chorus
Howard Jones, One to One
OMD, Crush
Elton John, Sleeping With the Past
A-Ha, Hunting High and Low
Wham, Music from the Edge of Heaven
Suicidal Tendencies
Eric Clapton, Timepieces
Deee-Lite, World Clique
Pump Up the Volume Soundtrack
Duran Duran, Notorious
Erasure, Wonderland
Kate Bush, The Whole Story
Kate Bush, The Sensual World
A-Ha, Scoundrel Days
Bauhaus, The Sky's Gone Out
Depeche Mode, A Broken Frame
Madonna, Like a Virgin
Fuzzbox, And We're Gonna Use It
Fuzzbox, Big Bang (Fuzzbox were a horrible, talentless girl band, and I'm not sure why I own TWO of their albums)
Wham, Make It Big
Rick Astley, Whenever You Need Somebody
U2, The Joshua Tree
Schmaltzy Music for Rainy Days mix tape, which included songs all about Train (London Rain, Heather Nova; Rain King, Counting Crows; Rainy Days and Mondays, the Carpenters, etc.)
Some Kind of Wonderful Sountrack
Siouxsie and the Banshees, Peepshow
Madonna, Madonna
AC/DC, Who Made Who
Jane's Addiction, Nothing's Shocking
The Cure, The Head on the Door
Corey Hart, The Boy in the Box
Steve Miller Band, Greatest Hits
Social Distortion
Pet Shop Boys, Discography
Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits
New Order, Substance
The Cure, Mixed Up
Depeche Mode, Speak and Spell
The Righteous Brothers, Greatest Hits
The Cure, Three Imaginary Boys
The Sundays, Reading, Writing Arithmetic
The Cure, Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
The Cure, Concert/Curiosity
Stand by Me soundtrack
The Cure, Mixed Up
Counting Crows, August and Everything After
Permanent Record soundtrack
Love and Rockets, Love and Rockets
Pearl Jam, World Jam
Iggy Pop, Brick by Brick
Chris Isaak, Chris Isaak
XTC, Skylarking
The Primitives, Lovely
Buzz (who? NO IDEA)
Guns n' Roses, Use Your Illusion I
7 Seconds, The Crew
7 Seconds, Walk Together, Rock Together
Ozzy Osbourne, Diary of a Madman
Ozzy Osbourne, No Rest for the Wicked (Seriously, where did these Ozzy tapes come from? Their presence in my collection is mystifying, because I never really liked him and I sure didn't buy any of these. Sure, the show was funny, but his music blows.)
Pink Floyd, The Wall
The Cure, Standing on the Beach
Elton Joh, The One
Kenyatta and Moral Minority (some random sucky band I saw on Catalina millions of years ago, and apparently was tricked into buying this)
Top Gun soundtrack
Elton John's Greatest Hits, Volume III
Aerosmith, Aerosmith
Aerosmith, Pump
Glass Tiger, Thin Red Line
The Lemonheads, Hate Your Friends
The Lemonheads, Lovey
The Doors, Live at the Matrix, 3/7/67
Led Zeppelin, Houses of the Holy
Blur, Leisure
Arcadia, So Red the Rose
The Glove, Blue Sunshine
Van Halen, Fair Warning
UB40, Rat in the Kitchen
UB40, Labour of Love I
A mix tape of hair bands, made by a friend in high school, including songs such as Patience, 18 and Life, Piece of Your Pie, Love Bites, Big Guns, Without You, Dr. Feelgood and Mr. Brownstone
Erasure, Crackers International
Voice Farm, Voice Farm
Faith No More, The Real Thing
Heartlight, Neil Diamond
Ramones, Too Tough To Die
Ramones, Mondo Bizarro
Ramones, Ramones
Madonna, True Blue
Aztec Camera, Stray
Depeche Mode, Violator
Public Image Limited, Greatest Hits So Far
U2, Unforgettable Fire
Replacements, All for Nothing/Nothing for All
U2, Live Under a Blood Red Sky Posted by Hello

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Nabby Says...

Check out my sweet collar! Mom decorated tonight, and I hay-ulped. Is it considered helping if I also eat some of these ornaments? That gingerbread man is looking fetching, I must say.

Mom's Note: I gave this photo the famous Dooce effect, to give the photo the proper Christmas-spirity look. Posted by Hello

Hearts and Flowers

What kind of Hummel Figurine are you?

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Adventures in Reading

I have always been a big reader. Not really sure when it started, but at some point I discovered that reading was preferable to social interaction or listening to the teacher, and I couldn't be stopped. In fact, most of my report cards from elementary school say that I was more interested in my books than doing classwork or playing at recess. In what kind of world is this really a bad thing, honestly?

One thing that haunts me still is the Book Fair my school had twice a year. Mom was a single mother at the time, and we weren't exactly swimming in cash, so there were a few things we had to go without. One of them was new books. I didn't mind the library too much, but I wanted new books so badly! It killed me every year, watching the other kids grab book after book from these massive piles of shiny new books with the spines all nice and uncracked. And to make matters worse, the book fair was in the library. And to make matters even WORSE, the teacher would have the entire class make an excursion to the book fair. We couldn't just go at our leisure. No, we had to all go at once, and some kids got to buy a million books while other kids had to browse the library and other kids who hated to read just sulked.

In 4th grade, I took matters into my own hands: I went to that damn book fair, and I stole a copy of "My Life" by Helen Keller. I remember swiping it, walking right outside the library and sitting on the bench staring at it. I didn't know what to do after that. My heart was pounding. How could I possibly read it now? It was tainted. Also, I had stolen a book written by someone who was practically a saint in her own right and who clearly had her own troubles and obstacles, which were far worse than my own. I totally doubt that thought occurred to me in 4th grade, but eventually the irony was not lost on me. Perhaps I should have stolen Oliver Twist or something. I couldn't bring it home. Mom would see that I had a new book and would most likely know I had ripped it off.

So, what did I do? I left the book on the bench and took off running, of course. What else was left?

Monday, December 06, 2004

How Will It All Get Done?

Today I am having one of those days where the full realization of how close Christmas is is pressing into my chest and I feel a little faint, because I have not done one single thing. I'm seriously off my game this year! What is wrong with me? I realize I could cut out a lot of the things I supposedly Need To Do, but if I did, I'd feel like even more of an underachiever. Plus, one of those things is making baked goodies for our new neighbors. Seeing as we work weird hours and are never around when they have little get togethers, to which we are usually invited, I want them to know that we really do like them and we're not just hiding from them and face it, there is no better way to say it than with sugar.

International Stuff

This is a riot. It's some French guy's Flash-created resume, complete with sound (and subtitles, thank god!). Be sure to stick around for the scatting at the end. I wish I knew whether this got him a job. Mary and I, personally, are a little frightened.

Can you get the drunk guy home? The best I've gotten so far is 51 meters. Yes, he's GERMAN!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Well New York City Really Has It All, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah

OK! After 11 hours of sleep, give or take -- I woke up a few times because the heat was blasting and it was so freaking hot, yet I was too tired to actually get up and do anything about it -- I am ready to give an accounting of our jaunt.

Here are a few pics I took with the digital. I have more I took with the SLR, and will post those as soon as I get them developed.

Tuesday: We left a little later than planned, which means we hit traffic in DC and Baltimore and all points in between. I tortured the Mr. with three Modest Mouse CDs in a row, two of which I had just gotten, and he was nice enough to not say anything until I had switched to something else entirely. Finally, we arrived at Doug and Katie's and saw their daughter Kyra, who is almost one year old and is officially the Cutest Baby Ever. I've said that before, but that was before Kyra arrived in the world. She is the kind of baby that makes you think, "Hell, I could totally have one of those!" and then you think, "Wait, there is no way I'd ever have a baby that good." And I really wouldn't, because my mom put a curse on me many years ago that went something like, "When you have a daughter, I hope she turns out to be just like you!" I used to retort, "Well, I should hope so!" but really, I'm doomed.

Now, this Kyra. First of all, she never cries. Not even when we kept her up an hour past her bedtime. And when we saw her the next morning, she was just sitting there on her dad's lap, grinning away! It was amazing. Second, the smiling. Never! Stops! The only time I didn't see her smiling was when she fell asleep on the car ride home from the train station. If you could custom order your baby (oh, wait. I think you can.), Kyra is the kind of baby you would ask for.

Wednesday: We took the train to New York. Our hotel let us check in at 11 a.m., and not only that, but they put us on the club floor, which means we had a little lounge with a giant TV and free 24-hour internet access, coffee and a free breakfast in the morning. Awesome! We don't know what we did to deserve that, but we weren't going to question it too much. Our room was way better than last year's (no holes in the wall), and we even had a view of the Empire State Building. Rock!

That afternoon, Mr. Nabbalicious's old high school friend, the world-famous Eugene, gave us a call and we met him at his Flatiron District apartment. It was our first look at a real, live Manhattan apartment, and it was not bad! High ceilings, wood floors, really cool. Eugene had to go through a lot to find it, though. Apparently the brokers in New York are Satan and will show you any crap apartment they can find and pressure you to sign the lease so they can move onto their next unsuspecting victim. Eugene then played tour guide for us for pretty much the rest of the day and told us stories about life in New York so far. What a good sport! He is the nicest guy, and he has enough DVDs to open his own Blockbuster branch. He took us to lunch at Patsy's near NYU, where we had real New York Pizza (verdict: great, but Chicago Pizza is still the winner). Then we wandered all over town, up and down 5th Avenue, through the Plaza Hotel, into Trump Tower for some Starbucks, what we believed was the Dakota, we saw the rink at Central Park but didn't skate because it was too cold at that point, and then we went and saw the Producers. Even the musical-hating Mr. thought it was a riot, and it really was. After that, we parted ways.

Thursday: Mr. Nabbalicious had some things to do, so I walked from our hotel to Greenwich Village and SoHo. I didn't bring a map, but thought I'd stumble on the main shopping areas. I guess I did, I'm not sure. Maybe I wasn't as in the mood to shop as I thought I was, because I didn't really see much that interested me. I was mainly looking for shoes, but didn't see that many shoe stores. It's just as well. Next year, I'll bring a map and get down to business. I didn't see any famous people shopping, either.

That night, we had dinner at Chevy's. Now, I know it's a chain and all, but our rationale was that there isn't one where we live, so it was OK. I haven't been there in years. After that, we had ice cream at Cold Stone. Yum! Then we went back to the hotel. Our friends called later and invited us to come with them to Marquee. Mr. said he was too tired, and I figured I'd call it a night as well. We should have gone, dammit. They were given a table and free drinks all night long. Derek Jeter was there. D'OH! I will never be a party pooper again! When you are, that's the kind of thing you miss. That's my first New Year's Resolution.

Friday: I went up to 55th and 5th to get a gift for the Cutest Baby Ever, then walked back from there. Stopped at H&M, and got a cute handbag and sparkly barrettes for next to nothing. Spent the rest of the afternoon lazing at the hotel. Got ready for The Party. We took the subway in our formalwear. Now, we couldn't have been the first people to do it, and we were by far NOT the weirdest thing on the subway, but I still felt conspicuous. The Party was great. As I said, I met Jay Mohr and wasn't nervous to do it. Thanks, alcohol! I told him that I listened to him on Jim Rome, and how much I loved the prematurely dead sitcom Action. He was very gracious and nice. Yahoo! Then we danced the night away at the After-Party. And the After-After-Party. And probably some other parties I don't remember. The most amusing part was that at one party, the crowd was spilling into the hallway and no doubt disturbing the other guests on the floor. The hotel people had to come and tell us to get back in the room, and as they're doing this, they're wheeling in more beer so everyone could get more drunk and unruly.

We finally stumbled out of the hotel at 5 a.m. Now, I thought that since our train was leaving at 11 a.m. that we'd have sufficient time to recover from the previous night/morning. NO. I woke up at 10 a.m. ready to barf and my head spinning. Try packing your trashed hotel room in that state. It was brutal.

Saturday: We made it home in one piece. Now I wanna go back!

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Back in the World

We arrived back home tonight, and I'm really too tired to function or say anything meaningful at this point.

Five interesting things about our trip:
1) I only took the subway 5 times and walked pretty much everywhere. I have the sore hips and butt to prove it. In a related item, I still ate more calories than I spent. Waaaaaaaaaaay more.
2) I did not have cannoli in Little Italy. Didn't even get over there!
3) I met Jay Mohr and had my picture taken with him. Very nice guy.
4) I had the worst hangover in years this morning. We're talking since possibly college.
5) We thought we had found the Dakota Building (outside where Lennon was shot), but it was not it. At that point, we were too tired to continue the hunt. Now, looking at the address of the real building, I see how very far off we were.

More to come later, with pictures! So, you just stay right there and keep hitting refresh.